"Lament"

My struggle to discover who I am and what I'm made to do continues to bother me to this day. Time flies so fast and I'm growing up so fast - I don't want to. I'm scared I'm not ready for the harsh realities that continue to bombard me daily.

I'm scared of what's ahead.

Right now I'm just going to share the lyrics to one of my favourite songs ever; it's called "Lament", by one of my favourite singers, Audrey Assad. It's such a beautiful song and I've cried multiple times hearing it because it really accentuates some of the pain I'm feeling. I need God. And I need to stop running from Him. And trust.

"I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time
I'm sitting at His feet yet I'm dying to be recognized
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied
Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes
Sometimes
Sometimes

I'm restless and I rustle like a thousand tall trees
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You
Oh but try as I might I just can't catch You
But I want to
Cause I need You
Yeah I need You
I can't catch You
But I want to

Oh how long, how long until I'm home
Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
Oh how long until You come for me
Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
Oh how long, how long until I'm home
Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
Oh how long, how long until You come for me
Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
Yeah I'm so tired, so tired of running
I'm so tired, so tired of running..."

How long, LORD, do I have to feel this way?